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How to Stop Worrying, Wine and Beating Yourself Up

How to Stop Worrying, Wine and Beating Yourself Up

I don’t have to tell you it’s hard to control your drinking. I don’t have to tell you life hurts. It’s hard. You’re struggling to cope and most of the time you make it. But sometimes you just want the pain to stop. Sometimes you just want to say that…

6 Stage Cycle of Emotional Abuse

6 Stage Cycle of Emotional Abuse

You’ve heard about emotional abuse. And you think this might be happening to you. But you’re not sure. All you know is the person you cared about has changed beyond belief. They used to be amazing. Couldn’t do enough for you. Salt of the earth. Everyone thinks they’re great. Now they blow hot and…

Maybe He’s Right. Maybe I am Crazy?

Maybe He’s Right. Maybe I am Crazy?

Do you believe the toxic person when they say you’re crazy? Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Everyone in recovery from a toxic relationship feels this way. And no wonder. A toxic person is like a hurricane. They spin into your life, sweeping you up in a vortex of excitement, intensity and chaos,…

How Toxic Types Treat You on Valentine’s Day

How Toxic Types Treat You on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day. One of the most difficult days to cope with in the first year of recovery from a toxic relationship. Think about it. In the last ninety days, you’ve had to be thankful at Thanksgiving,  Joyous at Christmas and wish everyone a Happy New Year when you were just managing to drag…

The Narcissists Wicked Game

The Narcissists Wicked Game

One of the hardest things to get your head round in recovery from a relationship with a Narcissist is, why would they go to all the effort of building you up just to knock you down again? Why would they text a hundred times a day at the start of the…

The Emotionally Abused Expat: 7 Ways Abuse Thrives Abroad

The Emotionally Abused Expat: 7 Ways Abuse Thrives Abroad

Emotional abuse runs rife in expat communities. Why? Because isolation and control are the abusers weapons of mass destruction, easily obtained by removing the victim from family, friends and social support back home to a foreign country. Often, prior to relocation, emotional abuse is less obvious, and concealed under the busyness of family, friends,…

Smear Campaigns: How To Cope When Toxic People Turn Everyone Against You

Smear Campaigns: How To Cope When Toxic People Turn Everyone Against You

In the early days of  toxic relationship recovery, it’s so hard to believe that someone would purposefully go all out to lie, deceive and betray not only you but your family and friends. It’s hard to fathom why someone who took time, often years, to build what seemed like honest,…

7 Reasons Why Emotional Drinking Is A Disaster in Toxic Relationship Recovery.

7 Reasons Why Emotional Drinking Is A Disaster in Toxic Relationship Recovery.

Wine. It can be your best friend or worst enemy in recovery from a relationship with a Narcissist, Sociopath or Abusive character. We tell ourselves it helps to de-stress, cope with the kids or drown out the noise of constant criticism. And to cope with the loneliness of getting over someone who takes emotional abuse to…

7 Beliefs that Keep you Stuck in a Toxic Relationship

7 Beliefs that Keep you Stuck in a Toxic Relationship

Leaving a toxic relationship is one of the most painful decisions you’ll ever make in your life. Why? Because most toxic types are highly invested in making you doubt yourself. They convince you that you’re the one to blame, you’re too sensitive and everything’s all your fault. They may also convince your…

Silent But Deadly Treatment In Toxic Relationships

Silent But Deadly Treatment In Toxic Relationships

Silent Treatment is about two things. Power and control. In healthy relationships, taking time out to diffuse anger or process information can be helpful. However, self-absorbed, manipulative personalities use silent treatment to make you feel worthless, abandoned, invisible, and to make you jump ever higher for their attention. And it…

10 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

10 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

We all like to think we’re a good judge of character. Unfortunately, toxic people can fool the best of us. No matter what age, colour, gender, sexual orientation, rich or poor-you are prey to a toxic person.They make an amazing first impression, deceiving not only you but your family and friends. But…

Heartache & Hope Poem

Heartache & Hope Poem

When you’ve been emotionally abused, thrown off the pedestal, criticized, blamed, shamed and made to feel that you’re less than, you need time to gather the shattered pieces of your life. Be gentle with yourself. You are grieving. Often this grief starts long before the relationship ends, when you realise…

7 Ways to Stop Toxic People from Pressing your Buttons

7 Ways to Stop Toxic People from Pressing your Buttons

  In an ideal world, severing all contact with toxic people is the ideal solution. However, not everyone can up sticks and leave with children in tow, lack of finances, affordable housing and other practicalities. Toxic people are first class crazy-makers and energy vampires. Here are some tips to help…

When Toxic People Tell You Who They Are

When Toxic People Tell You Who They Are

Did your gut instinct tell you that something wasn’t right when you met the emotional abuser? If so, you’re not alone. Almost every client I’ve ever worked with, myself included, felt that something was ‘off’ in the early days. It’s often a throw away remark, a dark look or a…

5 Mistakes Victims Make when Trying to Communicate with an Emotional Abuser

5 Mistakes Victims Make when Trying to Communicate with an Emotional Abuser

Emotional abuse hurts just as much as a slap on the face or a punch in the gut when you least expect it. It throws you off course, leaving you reeling and struck dumb in disbelief. Whether the abuse is cutting criticism, sudden rage, a black look or mocking sarcasm,…

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