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16 Comments

  1. Tina Culbertson says:

    Thank you for the information I have been in a bad relationship since the get go and I want to not do this to my self no more. I am a good person 😊 I deserve to be kinda happy that Is all I have ever wanted for other’s, so why not me too?🙏😇💜.

    1. Hi Tina
      You are welcome. My mission is to help and support people based on my knowledge and experience.
      You definitely deserve to be in a good relationship, we all do. Life is short and we need to make the most of it. What is holding you back from making changes in your life that will make you happy?
      I have written some posts that could help you find clarity and make decisions going forward.
      https://toxicrelationshiprecovery.com/9-reasons-why-you-stay-in-a-toxic-relationship/
      https://toxicrelationshiprecovery.com/7-signs-that-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship/

      These may help you. Should you need support please don’t hesitate to reach out.

  2. Tabatha Dijos says:

    I don’t know if my ex is a narcissist or he did something out of emotions.

    1. Hi Tabatha
      I would suggest that if he is an ex he belongs in the past and you may want to focus on healing and building a new life for yourself.
      But if you would like an answer to this question, I would research more information on Narcissism to find the answer. These posts may help you.
      https://toxicrelationshiprecovery.com/common-phrases-a-narcissist-uses-to-manipulate-you/
      https://toxicrelationshiprecovery.com/7-signs-that-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship/

      If you are struggling to get over your ex, reach out to people and get support.

  3. Hi Lisa this is a reply to a post if you’re trying to get over your ex but still want kids and love him like you say you do why keep screwing other guys an telling him i love you an want this family back together what do you call that a narcissist

    1. Hi Conrad I call that abuse, and you don’t deserve that. Judge people by their actions and not only by what they say. Set some boundaries that communicate to others how you want to be treated. Value and appreciate yourself.

  4. Linda Phillips says:

    Didn’t know what a narcissist was until I was an inch from broken. My BEST friend and man took a 7 day trip together. Guess what happened? He told me it was my fault for bringing her. He said so many hurtful things that when we got home, I was ready to go. Changed my mind (with his help). Later that same day, I overheard him talking to his boy about the trip. He was loud, then he’s whispering, plus came to see where I was so he could continue the conversation. I was sitting on the bed. He started loud talking again then silence. So I packed almost all my items and left. It’s been one week and a day since I left. Blocked his number and my BEST friend’s number. He didn’t try to stop me or communicate with me. Asked me was I done getting my stuff and I said yes. He put the lock on the door and shut it. Now my heart is aching so bad. Part of me wants him to call me when he’s at work but that hasn’t happened. I do drive by’s to see if my BEST friend’s car is there and it’s not. Did I do right? I believe this is part of me being gaslighted because I’m questioning my self. Please help. There’s a lot more to this story, but that definitely was the highlight.

    1. Hi Linda I think that you did the right thing. Leaving any relationship is difficult, but leaving an abusive relationship is especially difficult. Due to the abuse, you have low self-esteem, lack confidence, feel exhausted, and your heart aches.
      You deserve to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship. To achieve this, you now need to give yourself time to heal and rebuild yourself and your life. Find the joy in life. Compassionately focus on taking care of yourself. Discover and set your boundaries so that you can avoid toxic people in the future.

  5. Is there anything a parent can do if they believe their adult child is in a narcissistic relationship and may be suffering from Narcissistic Victim Syndrome? Especially if this adult child doesn’t want to “see” the signs?

    1. Hi Ana, if you suspect that your child is suffering from Narcissistic Victim Syndrome my advise would be that you should be very supportive and present in your adult child’s life. A narcissist will trying to isolate someone so that they have more control over them. Don’t criticize the narcissist as your adult child will make excuses and defend the narcissist due to the fact they are in a trauma bond.
      A trauma bond is very difficult to break free from but it is definitely possible with support.
      Listen to what your child has to say about the relationship without judgment.
      When your child is ready to leave they will know that they can leave because you will be there for them.
      If you can try to educate your child on narcissistic abuse this can be very helpful.
      Every situation is different, so should you want more advise specific to your particular situation please reach out via email.

      1. Thank you for this information Lisa. I may reach out via email once I get my thoughts together. Having a narcissist in the family (even by marriage) affects everyone around them. I feel constantly upended and if I can’t right side myself, how can I support my child.

  6. Thank you so much for all the information you provided for dealing with a narcissist. At present it is my sister-in-law,that is targeting my family. Her brother,my husband, and I took care of their mother for 9 years in our home, without her help. Their mom changed all of her power of attorney papers and put her my husband and my daughter in charge, because ahe said she didnt trust her daughter. 6 months before their mom passed away, (10/2020) the sister-in-law comes in to try to take over. When my husband told her no, that the their mom didn’t want her in charge she got mad and jump on my husband who was handicaped and started hitting him. You can imagine how the sister-in-law told the story on Facebook it was my husband who attacked her and the mom. Fortunately the moms nursing assistant was there and saw the whole thing. She posted all over social media that her mom was being abused and neglected in our home . We had family calling wanting to know what was going on. Once the mom told them it was just the daughter acting out , some understood others didn’t. We were harassed my her to the point we had to get the police involved to leave us alone. All this stress was too much for my husband and he passed away in March of this year 2023. The sister-in-law continues to accuse us on social media of abuse and neglect of her mom that we are the reason her mom. passed away . She has her band of supporters who also bad mouth us. The information you post helps me to see why she says the things she says. It still hurts how she is slandering my family, but it helps to know why she does it. Thank you

    1. You are welcome, Jan. I am happy to hear that my posts have helped you. I’m sorry to hear about the pain that your sister-in-law has caused you.

  7. Cynthia Jacobs says:

    Hello-
    I am trying again, married 27 years, separated for 5 months, and he moving back in.
    How do I maintain my emotional distance while having a marriage to him?

    1. Hi Cynthia – I’m not sure how you maintain emotional distance while having a successful marriage. If he is moving back in you obviously want to try again and so should give it your best shot. I don’t think you can be half pregnant. However, I would suggest that you ensure that you clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations. Some other suggestions would be:
      Engage in Individual Activities: Continue to pursue your own hobbies and interests. This helps in maintaining a sense of self, which is important in any relationship.
      Open Communication: Be honest about your feelings and concerns. Communication is key in any relationship, especially in situations like yours.
      Take Things Slowly: Don’t rush into re-establishing the relationship as it was before. Allow time for both of you to adjust to the new dynamics.
      Reflect on Your Expectations: Be clear about what you expect from him moving back in. Understanding your own expectations can help in communicating them to your partner and avoiding misunderstandings.
      Practice Self-Care: Engaging in activities that promote self-care can help in maintaining emotional balance.
      Respect Your Emotions: It’s normal to have a mix of emotions during this process. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment.
      Focus on the Present: Try not to dwell on past issues unless you’re addressing them constructively. Focusing on the present can help in rebuilding the relationship.
      Good luck